Jennifer Livingston, Her Response to “Fat” Email And Why It Made Me Cry
If you haven’t seen this video yet, please take a look before reading my post:
Growing up I was always the “chunky” kid. I got lots of “advice” for losing weight, mostly from adults. And every time I would lose it, the comments would come: “Oh you look so great!” “Keep it up!” “Your legs look so much better!”
So at the age of 12, I learned that my worth was dependent on how I looked. Great lesson, right? And where am I now, 28 years later? Still trying to lose weight, trying to be “acceptable”.
I watched this video yesterday and I cried, because I just knew how Jennifer Livingston must have felt while reading that viewer’s email.
Imagine, the number of years it must have taken her to get to the position she was in. The hard work, the dedication – goodness knows how many other people she beat out to get on television!
And all this person can do it point out her weight. He reduced her achievements, her personality, her specialness to one thing – the number on the scale.
I wish I could say what happened to Jennifer Livingston is an isolated incident, but sadly – overweight people get judged the same way every single day.
On the same day I saw this video, I read this amazing post by Holly at 300 Pounds Down. And again, I cried. Because even though I was never as heavy as Holly was, at 247 pounds I was also frequently ignored. I was also embarrassed and stuck in situations where all eyes were on me and my fatness.
Being fat is like wearing a body-sized sign that says, “I have a problem.” Smokers can hide it, alcoholics can hide it, drug addicts can hide it. Food addicts cannot – our bodies betray us.
And for some reason, people think that it’s okay to criticize, call attention, shame, laugh and scold us. Why??
I just love what Holly and her children did for the woman at Wal-Mart. I was so happy to read about how compassionate her kids were. I can’t imagine many people acting the way they did, can you?
No, most would act like Mr. Email, I imagine. Irritated and annoyed by the “lazy, fat woman” blocking their way to the cheap TVs.
Mr. Email talks about setting an example. Some example he’s setting, isn’t he? Let’s berate and lecture those who don’t fit what we deem to be “acceptable”.
I would much rather teach my children to be compassionate, to help others without judgement.
Who knows why Jennifer Livingston is fat? Maybe she has a medical condition. Maybe she is depressed and needs help. Maybe she is abused and uses food as a comfort mechanism. Maybe she wakes up every morning with the intent to eat well, but then her addiction takes over and she fails, and feels like a failure. Every. Single. Damn. Day.
So Mr. Email comes along to tell her how she’s doing it all wrong. What a guy, right? He’s just “stating the facts”, right?
Except her appearance is not the whole story. Like she says – “You don’t know me.”
NO ONE has the right to bust into someone’s life uninvited and tell them how they “should” live. NO ONE.
I hope more people like Jennifer and Holly will stand up and tell their stories. It’s high time we start to fight against a prejudice that is allowed to be expressed with little consequence.
It’s time to start treating every single person as an important human being that deserves respect. Every one. No matter their color, or gender, or sexual preference, or size.
*Stepping off my soap box.*
Now, obviously I have a strong opinion about this! But I want to hear what you think too. I welcome all opinions, as long as comments are respectful.
So tell me – what do you think? Was Jennifer Livingston right? Do you agree with the email? How do you feel about this situation?
I've got 3 kids (under 7) & I run my own business from home. Yep, I'm busy! I'm sharing my lessons learned & fun finds that will make YOUR busy life easier.
Kathleen Quinlan:
October 4th, 2012 at 7:54 AM
LIFE IS REALLY LIKE THAT, YOUR FAT OR HEAVY YOUR NO GOOD IN MOST MEN;S EYES AND SURPRISINGLY IN SKINNY WOMAN;S EYES. I AM 55 AND I WENT THROUGH MENOPAUSE AT 46. I WAS ALWAYS SKINNY UNTIL THAT HAPPENED. SO I GUESS IT WOULD BE SMART TO SAY GENES, HORMONES HAVE A LOT YO DUE WITH IT. I EAT SMALL MEALS, TRY TO BE ACTIVE SOME, BUT I AM STILL PUTTING WEIGH ON. FURTHERMORE, A SIZE 14 WHEN YOUR IN YOUR THIRTIES LOOKS FIRM. BUT AFTER MENOPAUSE, EVERYTHING WANTS TO GO SOUTH.
I FEEL NOW THAT IF SOMEONE CAN NOT CARE FOR ME THE WAY I AM, WELL THAT WORKS FOR ME. I GO ONLINE DATING SITE, MOST MEN MY AGE WRITE BODY TYPE: FIT AND ATHLETIC. WELL GOOD FOR THEM!!!! THEY DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN OR ARE THEY FACED WITH MENOPAUSE. THEY SHOULD HAVE TO GO THROUGH WOMANOPAUSE. THANKS
KATHLEEN QUINLAN
Kathleen Quinlan recently posted..Jennifer Livingston, Her Response to “Fat” Email And Why It Made Me Cry
Deborah Rosen:
October 4th, 2012 at 8:26 AM
I read something the other day, and I’d like you to think about it: you’re not fat, you *have* fat. Your weight does *not* define you. Not ever.
another jennifer
Twitter: anotherjenb
:
October 4th, 2012 at 9:24 AM
I love Jennifer’s reaction. I think it shows she is a smart, strong and confident woman – something that little girls should look up to! It’s sad the way people are judged. I think it’s important to have these conversations and talk to our kids about how to treat others. No one should have to receive an email like that.
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Sofia
Twitter: frompdxwithlove
:
October 4th, 2012 at 9:28 AM
Society is completely screwed up. You are either too fat or too skinny. You are blonde therefore you must be dumb. You are comfortable with your body, then you are a sl*t. There has never been middle ground. For guys it is so easy to criticize women since they have this idea of what we should be like. They came up with this body ratio of what our body should measure to be considered as perfect. If they are allowed to be like that we, women, should set standards for them as well. I wouldn’t mind seeing more Ryan Goslings out there!
Kudos to Jennifer Livingston for sticking up to her guns. A number on a scale is not what makes people beautiful, but who they are inside. It is their morals and values and not the way their body looks.
Mr. Email is an a** who should put his time and effort on something else rather than to bring people down. I double dog dare him to show his face on TV so he can see what it is like to receive the hate mail he sent. Maybe then he will understand and stop being such an ignorant a**.
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Sarah
Twitter: SarahintheBurbs
:
October 4th, 2012 at 9:33 AM
Way to go Jenn for being open and honest with us about your struggles! Mrs. Livingston is an amazing example to every who has ever and will ever put up with a bully. So glad you wrote this post.
Sarah recently posted..My Two Cents Worth
Amanda:
October 4th, 2012 at 9:40 AM
Jennifer’s reaction was phenomenal, and I couldn’t agree with her more. The guy was out of line.
Amanda recently posted..Guts, I Haz Them!
Jennifer Livingston and the weight debate:
October 4th, 2012 at 3:05 PM
[...] Over at My Charming Life [...]
Donna George:
October 4th, 2012 at 8:24 PM
Not only is the guy out of line, her points are very valid. Children live what they hear and see. Right now I am working on my 13 year old son, who is developing some very nasty ideas about people of color. MY child, for whom I chose preschools that were not only multi-cultural, but also a center for children with special needs. We did school choice so that my child could attend a school with a varied population, even though I could have chosen one where lily-white was the norm. BUT he spends time with his father, who is a bigot in the worst way. And let me add, my ex is HISPANIC!!
Maybe people must feel better about themselves by feeling worse about others. I don’t know. But I love that this reporter could stand up and say that she knows exactly who she is. And that she will not be defeated by the narrow-mindedness of others.
Jennifer
Twitter: katies_charms
:
October 5th, 2012 at 11:25 AM
It is so very hard when there are parents that harbor these hateful thoughts. Seems like you did your best to expose him to all different people, so hopefully his new ideas will be short–lived.
Jennifer
Twitter: katies_charms
:
October 5th, 2012 at 11:27 AM
This is terrific! Thank you for sharing.
Kimberly, The Fur Mom
Twitter: TheFurMom
:
November 1st, 2012 at 10:38 PM
When I first heard this story, I was appalled. It’s astounding how people feel they have the right to say whatever they want, however they want to others. Drive by feedback.
But then I have to admit that I’ve done the same thing. I haven’t told anyone that they need to lose weight, but I’ve judged people for the food their ordered at restaurants, for gaining and gaining, for complaining about health issues when their issue was obviously their weight.
And then I read a woman’s post that opened my eyes and now I’m ashamed for my judgements and understand a little more what it feels like on the other side.
The media spends so much time feeding us diet solutions, telling us that obesity is the #1 killer, and blaming rising health care costs on people who are overweight. And this is the fall out. People love to feel superior; what they forget is that the person on the other side of their judgement is a feeling human being who may be getting it left and right.
Cut them some slack!
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